Are We Not All Fathers?

In 2001, an article was published in the LDS Ensign magazine titled "Are We Not All Mothers?" by Sheri L. Dew, then the second counselor in the General Relief Society Presidency and a brilliant, righteous, single woman. Today, I would like to turn that article on its head, and I believe Sister Dew would approve. Let me replace a couple words in a quote from the article:

"[Fatherhood] is more than [siring] children. It is the essence of who we are as [men.]"

It has often been stated that men have the priesthood and women have motherhood. Let me contest that by saying men and women have different and equal roles in the priesthood and in parenting. The mother's role is indeed divine and beautiful, but a father's role is equally important, divine, and beautiful. I believe that just as all women are innately mothers, so are all men innately fathers. As Eve was the mother of all living before she bore children, Adam was the father of all living before he sired children. 

I think that the pain of men who are unable to enjoy fatherhood is largely unaddressed in our culture. Perhaps because if a man is single it is always considered to be his fault (which it is often not.) It also seems that when a couple is unable to have children, the woman's pain always overshadows the pain of the men in the eyes of their friends. Or perhaps friends who are men do not address the pain because, well, it is too painful. 

Some of my dearest friends, family members, and mentors are men without children. They are like dear brothers, uncles, and fathers to me and my children. Recently I have become acquainted with a man about my father's age who has no children, and though I have only known him for a couple of weeks, he has become a great example and teacher to me, and I can say that I love and admire him. Even though I have my own wonderful father, and my children have their own wonderful father, to modify Sheri Dew again: "Few of us will reach our potential without the nurturing of both the [father] who [sired] us, and the [fathers] who bear with us." 

The doctrine of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints teaches that every righteous person who does not have the opportunity to have children in this life will have the opportunity in the next. This is usually applied to women, but it is equally applicable to men. Many men yearn to be fathers. It is a part of their nature as it is a part of women's natures.

On this Father's Day, I would like to honor those men. I cannot imagine the sorrow they feel, but I know that these men have made a real difference in my life. They have strengthened and led me, they have been examples to my brothers and friends, they have cared for my children and inspired me to be a better person. They are fathers, and I love them.

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